Trust But Verify

“Trust But Verify.” Words made famous by former President Ronald Reagan over 30 years ago still ring true today. As women we tend to be very trusting because we are trustworthy. It is a trait that is equally becoming and our undoing. We trust others with our secrets, our livelihood, and our hearts. There is a sense of peace that comes with this sort of relinquishment when in worthy hands. Conversely, putting these things in the hands of someone untrustworthy can prove costly.

Trust but verify means to require proof. Whether it’s personally or professionally, you owe it to yourself to qualify others. I have learned many a lesson the “hard way” …being too trusting, not asking enough questions. I have had my heart broken and my confidence tested for putting my trust in the hands of someone unworthy. I’m not sure if you ever fully recover from such a blow, but you learn; you certainly learn. It’s the kind of sting that teaches us that touching something hot, burns. You don’t have to do it again to remember what it feels like, the mere thought is enough.

These days I am more cautious, patient, and focused. I’m cautious about whom I let get close. I’m patient in waiting on what’s just right for ME, and I’m focused on the big picture. Caution has helped me avoid mistakes. Patience has proved valuable because time reveals so much. And focus helps me make clear decisions. I put myself first, I don’t make any qualms about it. It’s not unladylike, it’s necessary. Who wants to be second or even last or just not a priority? Why wouldn’t you make yourself a priority?

Surround yourself with supportive people, know who’s in your circle, you do that with “trust, but verify”. Ask them to help you with your aspirations. True supporters that want you to succeed will jump in to help. Trust that they are who they say they are once you’ve verified it. Trust that they are invested in your success once you’ve verified it. People who truly have your best interest in mind won’t mind verifying it. Don’t leave it to chance. Life is precious and time is fleeting, do it right away.

My life has come together more and more, now that I trust, but verify. I share my experiences with other women to help them avoid the mistakes I made. We are unique, kind, and strong beings. Let’s stick together ladies and help one another. We deserve to be happy. When someone hurts you, don’t be afraid to let them know, it doesn’t make you weak. Let it out. Then let them out…the nearest door. No negative people allowed. We have a say in whom we let into our lives. Entry and exit are conditional. Time doesn’t give others a pass to hurt you. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone, if they hurt you, you have a right to ask them to correct the behavior or leave. Don’t go through life carrying hurt. Kindly return it to the person that gave it to you. I’m not saying hurt them in return, I’m saying let them know that you will not hold on to it because it’s leaving, right along with them. I guess you can call it a parting gift. Seems like a fitting gesture. Create a positive space for yourself and guard it diligently. Get the life you want. Be happy.

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